WEEK 23

IRA

1 ounce Irish whiskey
1 ounce Irish cream liqueur

Shake the ingredients vigorously with ice. Strain into a glass, drop a few cubes in, and enjoy.

This concoction was originally fashioned as a shooter, rather than a cocktail, but the crafty lads at ScapeGoat Ink slightly altered the proportions to create the IRA in drink form. Obviously you can play around with the amount of alcohol you use depending on how full you want to make your glass, but stick with equal parts to keep the final flavor the same as originally intended. Good Irish whiskey holds a place in our hearts, and for this particular mix we used the always delicious, Tullamore Dew. This fine whiskey is moderately priced and it's smooth enough to enjoy straight up. For the Irish cream we used Bailey's, which is great to have on-hand as the cooler months start to roll in. It's also a great addition to coffee when you run out of cream, or if you just need a little something extra to get through those Monday-Friday blues. Enjoy! But remember, be a team player, share a drink with a friend.

If the famous sidekick of the Man of La Mancha was prone to fancier tastes, he'd have invented this one. As it was, credit goes to a multitude of border town bartenders looking for a more palatable way to peddle their rot-gut agave juice.

WEEK 22:

Mexican Mule

2 ounces gold tequila
1 ounce fresh lime juice
1 teaspoon simple syrup
3 to 4 ounces ginger ale

Shake all the ingredients vigorously with ice--except the ginger ale. Strain into an ice-filled highball glass. Top with ginger ale to taste.

Because tequila is the drink of warm weather, beaches, and (God love us) wet T-shirt contests, to hold a tequila cocktail in your hand is to hold on to Summer itself. Tequila and lime go together even better than a whisky front and a beer back, and this drink only sweetens the deal. We recommend that you shelve the best tequila until you're ready to sip it straight, because this one is delicious even with the lowlier brands. So mix, drink, and repeat as necessary, until you feel the gentle rocking of that southbound mule cradling you back down to Tiajuana for a long siesta in the sand.

WEEK 21

Kentucky Cowhand

1 1/2 ounces bourbon
1 1/2 ounces Southern Comfort
1/4-ounce light cream

Pour the ingredients, shake, and serve.

The Kentucky Cowhand is a variation of a Mississippi Mist, the only difference between the two is the added cream, which seems to even the liquor out nicely. It's not too sweet and it's not too heavy. The Kentucky Cowhand* was conjured one cold evening when a couple of good ol' boys were moving cattle across the plains to sell before winter. Generally, cowhands carry a little something to wet their whistle after a long day. Now a man by the name of Bart McMasterson III was just about to take a pull of whiskey when he realized one of his fellow cowhands had diluted his bourbon with a little SoCo to hide the fact that he'd drank half of it last night. Now McMasterson was a might bit mad, but he was never one to waste good booze, so he decided to get his buddy back by emptying his friend's canteen and refilling it with the bourbon/SoCo mix. Now, McMasterson thought about it and realized that he had to add something else to really get his point across. So, being the resourceful man that he was he sauntered out to where one of the lady cows was sleeping, grabbed a hold of her great big mooie and gave it a few squirts. The next day Dirk Calloway picked up his canteen, paused a moment to quench his thirst with a little H2O, only to realize that his water had been replaced with one of the finest tasting concoctions he'd ever experienced. It was love at first swig. Through a failed practical joke Bart McMasterson III had created a new drink--the Kentucky Cowhand--and was celebrated for years to come. That is until he was shot and killed in the summer of 1902 over a new practical joke concoction that failed to amuse the man it was played on. The name of that concoction was Turd Soup. It never really caught on.

*This story was completely fabricated for our own amusement. We haven't got a clue who crafted this drink, or even when it was made. One thing we are certain about is that it tastes delicious. And, we're fairly confident that we can make an educated guess as to its origin--Alabama, right?

WEEK 20:

Pina Colada

2 ounces Puerto Rican light rum
6 ounces pineapple juice
2 ounces coconut cream
pineapple spear
Maraschino cherry

Shake the liquid ingredients vigorously with ice. Strain into a large ice-cold glass. Garnish with the pineapple spear and cherry.

Rupert Holmes immortalized this already famous drink with his hit, "Let's Get Crazy Tonight." Just kidding, we're talking about "Escape (the Pina Colada song)." No matter where you mix this up, when the ice-cold liquid hits your lips you'll immediately conjure images of crisp, sandy beaches, the beautiful summer sun, getting caught in the rain, if you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain, if you like making love at midnight...damn you Rupert, you got us again. On a side note, many frozen and blended versions of this drink exist, but the traditional mix is actually shaken. And we're pretty sure that's the only way Rupert drinks 'em. Cheers and enjoy!

Starting the day off with tequila is not the best idea, but if you want to conjure a sunrise at any hour of the eventing, put this in a glass...

WEEK 19:

Tequila Sunrise
1 1/2 ounces silver tequila
6 ounces fresh orange juice
1/2 ounces grenadine
2 to 3 ounces chilled club soda (optional, but recommended)

Option 1: Stirred. Pour the tequila and orange juice over ice. Float the grenadine on top and watch it drift lazily to the bottom. Top your drink off with club soda.
Option 2: Shaken. Add grenadine to an ice-filled cocktail glass. Shake the tequila and orange juice with ice and strain it over the grenadine. Top if off with club soda.

Deliciously fruity, this is still a drink with some muscle behind it. The "sunrise effect" can be achieved with the shaken or the stirred method. The tequila is best as a silver to avoid muddying the color of the drink. If you don't already have it, grenadine is one of those cocktail accents that adds to the artistry of any cocktail and is so rarely used in large quantities. In short, one bottle will last you quite a while, and your cocktail resume will be easily expanded by the addition. For the "sunset effect" repeat this drink 10 or 12 times. Not recommended.

We took stock of our drinking list and we realized that we have yet to dedicate a drink to all the special ladies out there. Without you, us men would just be a bunch of damn dirty apes with no ambition or drive. In short, you make us civilized. For that we thank you. Now, we raise our glasses to you ladies. Tonight is YOUR night. And this drink is for you.

WEEK 18:

Pink Squirrel
1 ounce white creme de cacao
1 ounce amaretto (or creme de noyaux)
1 ounce heavy cream

Lovingly shake the ingredients, allowing the ice to caress and mingle with the liquid ingredients until the shaker becomes so cold and frosted it hurts so good. Pour into a chilled cocktail glass and enjoy every last drop!

This drink is a nice blend of creamy sweetness with a smooth finish. It's reminiscent of white chocolate, if white chocolate were alcoholic. The Pink Squirrel was meant to be enjoyed by a lady, with a lady, surrounded by ladies, or alone...if you're a lady. And according to our poll, 9 out of 10 women loved this drink. As for the tenth, we're not sure if s(he) was actually a lady, but you didn't hear that from us. 

Ladies, tonight we salute you (wink, wink). 

Any drink that needs a glass with its own name is worthy of a little attention. Say hello again to everyone's favorite Mexican mistress.

Cool simplicity in a tumbler, this drink was, in truth, rediscovered due to laziness. A pina colada is delicious, but sometimes cleaning out a sticky blender is more work than you need. And pineapple juice is just too sweet. And you don't have any pineapple juice anyway. Why not just fresh coconut rum?

WEEK 16:

Island Summer
2 ounces light rum
2 ounces coconut cream

Shake the ingredients with ice until your hand aches from the cold. Pour into your favorite ice-filled tumbler.

Peruse the drink menu at any tropical-theme bar or restaurant and you will find recipes of overdone sweetness and over-the-top garnishes, leaving you overstimulated and underwhelmed. Cool and white, this drink is a blank canvas for the mind, as soothing to look at as it is to drink. We recommend Ron Matusalem, a Cuban rum that's big on flavor and won't break the bank. You can get a can of coconut cream at any well-stocked liquor store. Only 2 ingredients and some ice, and you have a taste of summer in your hand. Let's face it, recipes don't come any easier than this.

Folks, have we got a drink for you! This is the Tequila version of a salty dog.

WEEK 15

Salty Chihuahua
Lemon wedge
Kosher salt
2 ounces silver tequila
1/2 ounce fresh lime juice
5 to 6 ounces fresh grapefruit juice

Rub the rim of your glass with the lemon wedge and then rim with salt. Add ice, pour in the tequila and grapefruit juice and stir.

This drink has a unique taste and combines some interesting flavors. It provides a slight citrus punch, a salty kick, a subtle tart jab to the back of the throat, which ultimately results in a party in your mouth. Mix yourself up one of these, grab your favorite chica, turn up the Mariachi band (Vincente Fernandez's "El Rey" anyone?) and see where the night takes you, Amigo!

My patriotic Americans, the extended weekend is finally coming to a close and since most of our readers, as well as ourselves, have been busy celebrating this fine country's Independence Day we figured we would hold off on posting a new drink until the end of the weekend. Most of you are probably experiencing a slight (or major) withdrawal/hangover from drinking to America and all its glory, which is why we chose this drink.  

WEEK 14

Gin Sling
2 ounces gin
1/2 ounce Cointreau
1/2 ounce fresh lemon juice
3 to 5 ounces chilled club soda

Shake the booze and lemon juice, strain into a chilled highball glass, and then top with club soda. Squeeze the lemon wedge over the top and drop it in.

It's light, crisp, clean, and (wait for it) refreshing, which is exactly what you need after an extended weekend of overindulging. This drink may not help unclog your arteries or take back the drunken phone calls you made to various ex's, but we're pretty sure it'll make your liver smile as it enjoys one last hurrah before the daily grind begins again. 

Warning: This drink may make you want another one instantly, but remember, Chief, you have to work tomorrow. Oh hell, who are we kidding? Have as many as you like, because really, Monday's going to suck anyway, right?