Goat Vest, Young Man. Goat Vest.
I admit it: The label was a magnet to my eyes. Red calligraphy on a green field, majestically lined in gold, and dead center (also in gold) a ram perched regally on a red staircase like some sentinel at the gates to a glorious underworld of beer. The goat reminded me of the fearless mascot-logo of some famous T-shirt company...
WEEK 27:
Original Stieglbock
The aroma of Stieglbock is overwhelmingly molasses. The color? For anyone who has ever had a bad hangover—I mean a BAAAD hangover—the color is reminiscent of urine when you're so dehydrated that the very act of voiding your bladder painfully shrinks your innards. As the frothy head dissipates in your glass, it only adds to this less-than-alluring likeness. Still, if Hans has taught us anything, it is that appearances can be deceiving. (Except with him. Hans is actually more handsome and interesting than his impressively charming physique and brooding eyes would lead you to believe.)
As I understand it, this is a bottom-fermenting brew from barely malt. It's brewed in Austria around August. Subsequently the taste and abc will vary from year to year. For a first-timer, after a bad first impression the taste actually seems to evolve in your mouth. It tastes like a tadpole or some primordial ooze that transforms into a rich, silky griffin—in your mouth. The beer looked awful. It smelled strangely. In the end, like the prim librarian who took off her glasses and shook out her bun, Stieglbock turns sexy right before your eyes. So sexy, in fact, that you get possessive and afraid she doesn't like you as much as you like her. You keep asking for reassurance even though you shouldn't, knowing your voice has that whiny, pleading sound that's starting to annoy her. Before long, you drain her and you're left cradling an empty bottle, sobbing and asking "Why?" Still, if you could do it all over again...you would. Cheers.
***
Looking for funny T-shirts? Type www.scapegoatink.com into your web browser or simply click the banner below.
WEEK 27:
Original Stieglbock
The aroma of Stieglbock is overwhelmingly molasses. The color? For anyone who has ever had a bad hangover—I mean a BAAAD hangover—the color is reminiscent of urine when you're so dehydrated that the very act of voiding your bladder painfully shrinks your innards. As the frothy head dissipates in your glass, it only adds to this less-than-alluring likeness. Still, if Hans has taught us anything, it is that appearances can be deceiving. (Except with him. Hans is actually more handsome and interesting than his impressively charming physique and brooding eyes would lead you to believe.)
As I understand it, this is a bottom-fermenting brew from barely malt. It's brewed in Austria around August. Subsequently the taste and abc will vary from year to year. For a first-timer, after a bad first impression the taste actually seems to evolve in your mouth. It tastes like a tadpole or some primordial ooze that transforms into a rich, silky griffin—in your mouth. The beer looked awful. It smelled strangely. In the end, like the prim librarian who took off her glasses and shook out her bun, Stieglbock turns sexy right before your eyes. So sexy, in fact, that you get possessive and afraid she doesn't like you as much as you like her. You keep asking for reassurance even though you shouldn't, knowing your voice has that whiny, pleading sound that's starting to annoy her. Before long, you drain her and you're left cradling an empty bottle, sobbing and asking "Why?" Still, if you could do it all over again...you would. Cheers.
***
Looking for funny T-shirts? Type www.scapegoatink.com into your web browser or simply click the banner below.
Posted by ScapeGoat Ink at 11/6/2009 11:26 PM 
Categories: 52 Drinks in 52 Weeks
Tags: ScapeGoat Ink Reviews Original Stieglbock Beer
Categories: 52 Drinks in 52 Weeks
Tags: ScapeGoat Ink Reviews Original Stieglbock Beer
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