The Delicacy Of Red Wine
I was over at my parent's house the other day when my mom suggested we have a glass of wine. I'm an alcoholic, so I willingly agreed. My mom grabbed a couple of wine glasses from the rack and then opened the fridge. I assumed we were having white wine, but it turns out she had a bottle of red in the refrigerator. I am still learning when it comes to wine, but I've picked up a few things from my girlfriend (she's also an alcoholic). Here's what I know, white wines get refrigerated and red wines generally do not. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rules.
My mom poured a couple of healthy glasses, which she is prone to do. The smell was a little flat, but not enough to concern me. Our first sip was a bit off, like grape juice. The second sip didn't improve. I believe red wine, if refrigerated, should be taken out a few hours before drinking so it can reach room temperature and retain its flavors. The problem is we're impatient drinkers. If booze is in front of us we want to put it in our stomachs immediately.
Instead of waiting for the wine, my mom decided to take matters into her own hands. Without hesitation, she slopped her wine into a coffee mug and put it into the microwave. Some of you may have just recoiled upon reading that line. Admittedly, I should have tried to stop her, but I was curious myself. After three ten-second bursts in the microwave my mom deemed the wine "ready." It tasted exactly the way one might have imagined—bad. It was no longer wine, but rather a soupy mess of odd tannin flavors with a tart grape juice finish. We deemed the wine undrinkable and moved on to a new (unrefrigerated) bottle of red called The Wingman from Trader Joe's. It's a pretty good wine for the price. It had a rich flavor with a fruity finish, but I think anything after that microwaved swill would have tasted pretty good. So, we drank the wine and talked about how it's funny when people get older and they start to do goofy stuff, like microwave wine.
My dad arrived home shortly after we opened the new bottle. Before I had a chance to explain the microwave mishap, my mom was offering him a sip of the coffee mug vino. His response, "That tastes off." I explained what that mug of wine had been through. My dad said, "Oh, I know, you're not suppose to put [red wine] in the fridge, it oxidizes." But, then my mom realized something, "Wait, didn't you put it in the fridge? If you knew that then why the hell did you put it in there?" To which my dad responded, "You told me to."
So, case in point, white wines should be refrigerated, some red wines can be refrigerated, but no wines should ever be microwaved. Also, once you reach a certain age you start doing goofy things, but at least it makes for good material. And, ladies, you can't be mad at a man if he's simply doing what he's told.
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My mom poured a couple of healthy glasses, which she is prone to do. The smell was a little flat, but not enough to concern me. Our first sip was a bit off, like grape juice. The second sip didn't improve. I believe red wine, if refrigerated, should be taken out a few hours before drinking so it can reach room temperature and retain its flavors. The problem is we're impatient drinkers. If booze is in front of us we want to put it in our stomachs immediately.
Instead of waiting for the wine, my mom decided to take matters into her own hands. Without hesitation, she slopped her wine into a coffee mug and put it into the microwave. Some of you may have just recoiled upon reading that line. Admittedly, I should have tried to stop her, but I was curious myself. After three ten-second bursts in the microwave my mom deemed the wine "ready." It tasted exactly the way one might have imagined—bad. It was no longer wine, but rather a soupy mess of odd tannin flavors with a tart grape juice finish. We deemed the wine undrinkable and moved on to a new (unrefrigerated) bottle of red called The Wingman from Trader Joe's. It's a pretty good wine for the price. It had a rich flavor with a fruity finish, but I think anything after that microwaved swill would have tasted pretty good. So, we drank the wine and talked about how it's funny when people get older and they start to do goofy stuff, like microwave wine.
My dad arrived home shortly after we opened the new bottle. Before I had a chance to explain the microwave mishap, my mom was offering him a sip of the coffee mug vino. His response, "That tastes off." I explained what that mug of wine had been through. My dad said, "Oh, I know, you're not suppose to put [red wine] in the fridge, it oxidizes." But, then my mom realized something, "Wait, didn't you put it in the fridge? If you knew that then why the hell did you put it in there?" To which my dad responded, "You told me to."
So, case in point, white wines should be refrigerated, some red wines can be refrigerated, but no wines should ever be microwaved. Also, once you reach a certain age you start doing goofy things, but at least it makes for good material. And, ladies, you can't be mad at a man if he's simply doing what he's told.
***
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Posted by ScapeGoat Ink at 10/26/2011 11:02 AM 
Categories: Booze Knowledge
Tags: red wine trader joes the wingman wine white wine refrigeration microwave
Categories: Booze Knowledge
Tags: red wine trader joes the wingman wine white wine refrigeration microwave
Here are my excuses, pick one: 1. This never happened. 2. It was white wine. 3. I was drunk when you got there.
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Um, I choose 4. You're older now and you do goofy stuff, like microwave wine.
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I find microwaved red wine tastes best after having a few bottles of nonrefrigerated red wine first.
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